March 2010
1 post
Danny Got Fired from An Inconvenient Truth
D. Glover: You remember that home movie of the earth spinning in space. One of those spacecraft continuing on out into the universe, when it got 4 billion miles out in space, Riggs said, “Let’s take another picture of the earth.”
See that pale blue dot. That’s us. Everything that has ever happened in all of human history has happened on that pixel. All the triumphs and all the tragedies, all the...
February 2010
20 posts
Danny was fired from The Bourne Ultimatum
LANDY’S cell phone rings. She answers it.
J. Allen: Pamela Landy.
D. Glover: I hear you’re still looking for me.
J. Allen: Bourne? I guess I owe you an apology.
D. Glover: Is that official?
J. Allen: No. Off the record. You know how it is.
D. Glover: Good-bye.
J. Allen: Wait. Wait. (She opens a file on her desk.)
D. Glover: (Listening)
J. Allen: David Webb. That’s your real name. You were born April 15, 1971 in Nixa, Missouri.
D. Glover: (Pause) No it ain’t. It’s Murtaugh.
J. Allen: What? What’s going on here? Paul!?!?
P. Greengrass: Danny –
D. Glover: I’m Murtaugh. I’ve been called Coltrane. I’ve been Murtaugh. I’ve wanted to be Riggs. Who the hell is David Webb? That ain’t me, honey.
P. Greengrass: Just go with it, Joan, and we’ll cut it up later.
J. Allen: Why don’t you come in, and we’ll talk about it?
(Pause) Bourne?
D. Glover: Get some Riggs, Pam. You look tired.
J. Allen: Riggs? I’m supposed to be tired. And you’re Bourne.
D. Glover: What happened to Webb, missy? Think you know everything, don’t you.
J. Allen: (shaking head)
D. Glover: You could be Riggs. A lady Riggs...hmmmm....tasty.
P. Greengrass: I think we’re going to have to scrap this.
PA: What?
P. Greengrass: Yep. The whole project.
PA: But this is the third one.
D. Glover: Yeah, that’s crazy talk, PG.
P. Greengrass: Nobody liked the first two with Glover anyway. I can’t believe we got somebody to bankroll this with him. It looks like a bad remake of “I Spy”.
D. Glover: Cosby!
P. Greengrass: You know if I shake the hell out of the camera, I can make an action star out of anybody. Affleck or Damon. Somebody flip for it.
Danny was fired from Training Day
E. Hawke: This car is not from the motor pool.
D. Glover: It’s not, sexy though, ain’t it?
E. Hawke: So, where’s the office? Back at division?
D. Glover: You’re in the office, baby.
A. Fuqua: …oh thank god…
D. Glover: Dispatch this is One William Fifty Six, we’re in the street.
A. Fuqua: …what?…
E. Hawke: …Are there new...
Danny was fired from 300
Z. Snyder: [rubbing his eyes] Quiet on the set. Can we please finish this scene, Danny? This is going straight into the trailer.
D. Glover: You know I got it this time.
Z. Snyder: Uh, huh. Deja Vu. Okay, then…
P.A.: This is 300, Scene 29, Take… 138?
Z. Snyder: [little more than a whisper] Action.
D. Glover: Choose your next words carefully, Riggs. They may be your last as...
Danny was fired from what subsequently became...
S. Jonze: So we want to shoot this green screen stuff early, you know, so the effects team has time to do all their shit, y’know?
D. Glover: Dig it.
S. Jonze: We’ll start with the lady sitting across from you… And… action.
D. Glover. Riggs? Riggs riggs riggs.
S. Jonze: Wait, cut, what?
D. Glover: More lady like?
S. Jonze: No, the delivery was fine. You know, why...
Danny was fired from The Sixth Sense
D. Glover: Riggs, I’ve been so lost… I need my best friend.
O. Williams: [Looks over at M.N. Shyamalan.]
M.N. Shyamalan: [To cameraman] Keep rolling.
D. Glover: Do you want me to say my line again?
O. Williams: Uh… sure. Go ahead, Danny.
D. Glover: Riggs, I’ve been so lost… I need my best friend.
O. Williams: [Pause. Shrugs.] I miss you.
D. Glover. I miss you.
...
Danny was fired from the Lord of the Rings
V. Mortensen: You have my sword.
O. Bloom: And you have my bow.
J.R. Davies: And my axe!
D. Glover: Nine companions. So be it. You shall be the Fellowship of the Riiiiiggs.
P. Jackson: CUT!!!
I. McKellan: Unbelievable.
P.A.: [whispering] Mr. Jackson, you asked me to interrupt you as soon as we had Hugo Weaving on the phone.
P. Jackson: That’s a wrap for today!
D. Glover: But we just...
Danny was fired from Driving Miss Daisy
D. Glover: Where to Mrs. Riggs?
J. Tandy: Fucking idiot. I'm doing one more take of this and then I'm making some calls.
D. Glover: No way you live. No way.
Danny was fired from A Few Good Men
D. Glover: You want answers?
T. Cruise: I think I’m entitled.
D. Glover: You want answers?
T. Cruise: I want the truth!
D. Glover: You can’t handle the truth, Riggs!!!
R: Reiner: CUT! I knew that was coming. Son of a bitch, man.
D. Glover: What?
R. Reiner: You did it again, Danny. Again. Again!
D. Glover: Settle down, Robby. I got this. I just got distracted. Is that Kevin...
Danny was not hired for Shawshank
P.A.: This is Danny Glover.
F. Darabont: Danny! Big fan.
D. Glover: Hey, thanks!
F. Darabont: Did they give you your sides?
D. Glover: Yeah! I got ‘em.
F. Darabont: Okay. Let’s run through the narration. This is your part to lose, so just relax and read the copy.
D. Glover: Alright. Any time?
F. Darabont: Whenever you are ready.
D. Glover: I have to admit, the first time...
Danny was fired from Fight Club
D. Glover: People are always asking me if I know Riggs.
D. Fincher: Cut!
B. Pitt: Told you…
D. Fincher: Danny, didn’t we have this conversation enough on the set of Se7en? You said that you were past this.
D. Glover: What did I do?
D. Fincher: You said ‘Riggs’, Danny. You always say ‘Riggs’. Do you have meds you can take for this or something? We will...
Danny was fired from Field of Dreams
D. Glover: Riggs, people will come Riggs. They'll come to Iowa for reasons they can't even fathom. They'll turn up your driveway not knowing
K. Costner: Phil?
P.A. Robinson: Yeah, we got that, Kev. Hey, Danny, you just . . . let's try the line again okay? Problem with the audio or the boom or...yeah, ok. STILL ROLLING PEOPLE!
D. Glover: Riggs, people will come Riggs. They'll come to Iowa
K. Costner: Was there a change?
D. Glover: Hey, what's the problem, here?
P.A. Robinson: Aaaaand cut. Great movie everyone. Danny, you were great.
D. Glover: But I didn't finish my lines.
P.A. Robinson: We're going to get those as voice over. In a sound stage. Security!
Danny was fired from Amistad
D. Glover: Your Honors, I derive much consolation from the fact that my colleague, Mr. Baldwin, here, has argued the case in so able and so complete a manner as to leave me scarcely anything to say.
However, why are we here? How is it that a simple, plain property issue should now find itself so ennobled as to be argued before the Supreme Court of the United States of America? I mean, do we fear...
Danny was fired from Braveheart
D. Glover: The trouble with Scotland is that it’s full of Riiiggs.
M. Gibson: CUT! [laughing] What’s the deal? That’s twice now.
D. Glover: Did I do it again?
M. Gibson: Yeah. Again! I know it must be weird to have me as the Director on this one…
D. Glover: No way, Rig- Uh… Mel. I’m glad to be here.
M. Gibson: So let’s try this again. The line is ‘Scots’. It’s full of ‘Scots’.
D....
Danny was fired from Pulp Fiction
D. Glover: What does Riggs look like?
Q. Tarantino: What?
D. Glover: Say ‘what’ again. Say ‘what’ again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker, say what one more Goddamn time!
Q. Tarantino: No, no, no, Danny. Cut. CUT!
D. Glover: What?
Q. Tarantino: Well, uhmm, this isn’t Lethal Weapon.
D. Glover: I know that!
Q. Tarantino: Okay, so why did you say...
Danny was fired from Full Metal Jacket
M. Modine: Is that you John Wayne? Is this me?
D. Glover: Who said that? Who the fuck said that?
M. Modine: Sir! I said it, Sir!
D. Glover: Well, no shit. What have we got here, a fucking comedian? Your new name is Private Riggs. I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you, you can come over to my house and f…
S. Kubrick: Danny… Danny… Danny… CUT!
D. Glover: What?
S....
Danny was almost fired from Maverick
D. Glover: Stick 'em up, Riggs.
R. Donner: Honest mistake, Danny. Let's try this again.
D. Glover: Stick 'em up, Riggs.
R. Donner: Keep Rolling!! It's just the one line, Danny. You don't even say Mel's name in this scene. Just, "Stick 'em up." And then the audience gets a little recognition moment.
D. Glover: For what?
M. Gibson: C'mon, Rodge.
D. Glover: I got this.
Danny was fired from The Untouchables
B. DePalma: Okay. That was my third lunch today. You think we can do this now, Danny?
D. Glover: You know it, BD. Let’s do this. I’m ready.
K. Costner: I’ve been ready all day.
B. DePalma: And…ACTION!
D. Glover: You said you wanted to get Capone. Do you really want to get him? You see what I’m saying is, what are you prepared to do, Riggs?
K. Costner:...
Danny was fired from The Matrix
L.Watchowski: Do we need to take a break?
K.Reeves: Nope. I am good. Let’s just finish this.
A.Watchowski: Danny, let’s focus and do it right this time.
D.Glover: You know I will…
L.Watchowski: Alright, then. Scene 41. Take 64. Lights? Speed? Action!
K.Reeves: I know what you are trying to do.
D.Glover: I am trying to free your mind, Riggs. But I can only show the...
Danny was fired from Se7en
D.Fincher: [sigh] Okay, people, let’s wrap this up before the helicopter runs out of fuel. Scene 247, take 45. Roll sound. Roll camera. And… action!
D.Glover: State of California stay away from here. Don’t come near here now. Riggs has the upper hand!
D.Fincher: Cut! Fuck! Danny? Really? You know, when I hired you, they told me about your little tick. ...
Danny was almost fired from The Royal Tenenbaums
D. Glover: Did you just call me Riggs?
G. Hackman: What?
W. Anderson: CUT. Danny, the line is: "Did you just call me Coltrane?"
D. Glover: I didn't say that?
G. Hackman: Is this for real?
W. Anderson: Let's give it another shot. Everybody, let's go again!
D. Glover: Did you just call me .... got it, okay.
W. Anderson: And . . . Action!
D. Glover: Did you just call me Coltrane, Riggs?
G. Hackman: No. But if I did . . . wait. What?
W. Anderson: Keep rolling. Just say your line, Gene. We'll fix it in post.
D. Glover: Did I get it right that time, Riggs?
W. Anderson: Christ, you mean me don't you? Yeah, that was a good one, Danny. You're good. That's lunch, people.